Dear Dude on the 1 Train north, approx. 11:15am:
Your personal hygiene regiments in public disgust me. Yeah you, in the gray cap and frayed cordoroys. I just want to get this out - because it's there, like a disrespectful back-talking teen in need of a good grounding. Please stop spit-shining your shoes in public. And also - please don't EVER AGAIN clip your fingernails on the train. It's wrong, and the next time I see you do it - I will take that nail clipper file to your neck.
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