Gym is only going to credit my gym membership, not give me a new nano - after they lost my music!!In fact, somewhere right now, someone out there is enjoying my ipod - and that really makes me red. We're talking steaming red - in fact, almost maroon because the crimson has burned so much with anger. Someone out there is rejoicing in their find, an oasis of great artists and songs - carefully selected by me. Someone has a soundtrack to their life, their moods - their neighborhoods while I have nothing... mute. Someone out there doesn't understand the inside joke etched on the back, an insult to not one, but two Brownes - me and my brother.
In fact, I talked to Chris last night about this traumatic loss, and that someone out there best be glad the Navy beast that is my brother is not here in New York. Because if he was, he would track you down using his SEALS training GPS pysche, pummel you down a sewer, wrap that ipod earphone wire around your feet, and dangle you from the front of my apartment building. Every day, I would instruct all of my doormen to use you as a punching bag, while I laughed and danced in a broom skirt to Dolly Parton on my ipod in front of you. I would even invite my girlfriends over every night, and they would lob obscenities at you between spitting contests. Yep, I'm pretty mad.
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