Grandma - Still Kicking It

Random French Guy Emails

Subject: Good to meet you

Bonjour Mademoiselle Allison,

Comment vas-tu? Passes-tu une très bonne journée en ce moment!?

Well, it was good meeting last night on our way to Lexington Ave... I found you quite interesting to talk to. Very intriguing, indeed. Behind your appearance you seem like a good-hearted girl to spend time with.

I guess one of the beauties and mysteries of the life's journey are special people you meet along the way. It is a small world and sometimes the best relationship develops by chance.

Are you available to have coffee sometime next week, then? Two dear companions who enjoy each other company to explore the beauties of life... It works for me and hope it works for you as well!

Reading you soon...
Best regards,
A bientôt,
____________________
WHAT SHOULD I DO??

Spray Tanned

I got my first ever spray tan today, and it was ridiculously adventurous. Things I've learned from fake basting:

1) Don't decide to do this spur-of-the-moment like I did. You can never exfoliate enough.
2) Don't be afraid to strip down in the buff. Yeah, you're in 7-foot high stall, but it still feels like public nudity, which should satisfy any urge you had to streak the Quad in college.
3) Put on that shower cap. It's just not worth it to mess with $200 highlights.
4) When you position yourself in the spray stall, make sure you're emotionally prepared to hit the start button. For some reason, the Automated countdown of "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" sure makes you feel like you're going to blast off.
5) Hold your breath and close your eyes. The former is especially important, so you don't inhale gasps of bottled sunlight and proceed to have whooping cough like I did.
6) Do a little dance as the spray's being applied. Kinda like you're hoola-hooping. This will assure an even tone, as well as amuse you as you imagine how ridiculous you look.
7) Wear loose clothes, so that when you're done - your low-rise relaxed fit don't become skinny jeans.
8) Afterwards, eat the complimentary York Peppermint Pattie they leave for you (random!!!).
9) Go back again - because it leaves you sunkist and dewy!

Sex and The City

Saw the big movie last night, in a theater packed full of women. Movie was a good popcorner and I'm sure will rake in a ton of dough, but I don't think it was a tentpoler.

*For a very amusing take on how the REAL women of Manhattan live, check out my friend Heather's post. She nails it funnier than I ever could. Click on the title for her post.

Mobile Pix

Finally got around to uploading pix from my phone from the last 6 months:

View from My Apartment Doorstep

A Day At Central Park

Night at the Opera



Casey Interviews Hot Tranny Mess

I Assure You This is Rascal Flatts

Korean Tableside Barbeque

Photo Op Perched Atop Empire State Building with Masters Champ

Birthday Fun at Schiller's

Cousin Peter Gets Hitched

Peter, my 2nd cousin - ties the knot with longtime girlfriend Ellen - at the Capitol building in St. Paul! His sister, my cousin Anne, and her cute kids are in the pix too!

Random

1) On some recent occasions, I've had total strangers ask me if I'm Russian or Slavic. The first time happened a while ago - and it kinda threw me because I thought my gigantor nose and blue eyes made it my face scream Scandi. Guess not.

A few weeks ago, a guy in my apartment building asked if I was Russian. I sternly said, "Net!"

Then tonight, while I was walking home from work - this French guy just randomly came up to me and asked if I was Polish. We walked and talked all the way to Lexington Ave - and I think he kinda asked me out. He asked if I wanted to have a picnic with him in Central Park on Sunday. When I told him I had plans, he asked if we could have a picnic in the park on Saturday. He was pretty persistent, even telling me he would cook dinner for me. It was all very random, and after throwing my business card at him - I said goodbye and headed to the bus stop solo.

Later, on the bus, I amused myself by thinking about a hypothetical picnic in the park with this random Frenchman. I became even more amused by thinking about what I'd bring to the picnic - and yes, my mind went there: Polish sausage.

2) Why does Carson Daly still have a latenight show... or any show for that matter?

3) Springtime has hit the city - and Heather and I came to the agreement that anytime the temperature hits 67-degress, women walk around half naked. At least it's cutting down on my skinny jean intake.

4) It's been so pleasant at night, that I've been sleeping with my windows wide open. This morning, though, I was awakened to a pigeon on my fire escape, about an inch from actually being inside my apartment. Could you imagine waking up and having a dirty city pigeon flapping around your apartment??? Me neither. I slammed my window so tight - not even oxygen is coming in.

5) I'm considering a spray tan for the first time ever - mainly because if I don't, people will keep running into me because my skin has gone from Casper-white to completely transparent.

Priceline Negotiator

I just met William Shatner, and it was awesome! He's got quite the twinkle in his eyes... I can see how Denny Crane does so well with the ladies.

Humiliation

I enter the 6 train subway stairs, start to hear a train approaching - begin bounding down stairs with a host of other people. In my head, one voice, "You are going to make this train."

Train coming into station - I swipe Metrocard - and take a deep breath, "I will make this train."

Rush through the turnstyle and onto the train as doors are closing, "I MADE the train."

Ouch. Yikes.

Then I squeak out something like "Yow!" or "Ow!" or "Ker!" - I really have no idea what I yelped.

For you see - my hair has decided NOT to make the train.

Some guy helps me wrestle my mane out of the 6 train jaws of death - while strangers stare in disbelief, horror, and muddled laughter.

Embarrassing.

The next 5 stops weren't any easier, as my face hit fire engine red.