My Facebook obsession keeps growing - and some of the NYC group names are hilarious:
- God I hate the MTA
- Boyfriends Suck
- I Don't Care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass
- Magnolia Cupcakes Are Overrated
- I Must Admit I LOVE Little Debbie
- I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back of the Head
- Everything I know about Basketball, I learned from One Tree Hill
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Lodging
I'm still looking for an apartment and I forgot how much the whole stupid NYC process stinks. *They call it a broker because after one, you're broke.
Inner Child?
While getting a blowout today - I started talking to a customer's 7-year-old kid. We played "I Spy" while she waited for her mom's pedicure and I got my tresses in shape. During conversation - while she played with my snake ring, she quizzed me a bit:
She asked if I was rich - I said no.
She asked how old I was - I said 30.
She asked if I was married - I said no.
She asked if I had a boyfriend - and I said no.
She then said, "You'll never get married or a boyfriend because you're 30 and you're old now."
I sank behind my bangs - while simultaneously wanting to drop-kick the brat.
She asked if I was rich - I said no.
She asked how old I was - I said 30.
She asked if I was married - I said no.
She asked if I had a boyfriend - and I said no.
She then said, "You'll never get married or a boyfriend because you're 30 and you're old now."
I sank behind my bangs - while simultaneously wanting to drop-kick the brat.
Friday, August 24, 2007
upDATES - downDATES
Blitz of dates recently has me gearing up for the massive Pity Party blowout I'm throwing this weekend...
1) Bland Bob - investment consultant - country club rich - has golf group and poker buddies - has no sense of humor - he loves Maryland and is a Terp, which the Virginian in me finds appalling. next.
2) Earsplitting Nick - from Trenton, NJ - pronounces 'that' as 'dat' - jersey accent harshens throughout night - he drives a Firebird - I pay for everything. next.
3) Hipster Chris - supposed to go watch Chris the DJ spin tomorrow night in Brooklyn... but since I haven't spoken to him since his invite two weeks ago - I don't even want to go.
Yep, it's really sad folks.
1) Bland Bob - investment consultant - country club rich - has golf group and poker buddies - has no sense of humor - he loves Maryland and is a Terp, which the Virginian in me finds appalling. next.
2) Earsplitting Nick - from Trenton, NJ - pronounces 'that' as 'dat' - jersey accent harshens throughout night - he drives a Firebird - I pay for everything. next.
3) Hipster Chris - supposed to go watch Chris the DJ spin tomorrow night in Brooklyn... but since I haven't spoken to him since his invite two weeks ago - I don't even want to go.
Yep, it's really sad folks.
Male Confirmation
Alex got got confirmation from her outspoken man-cousin - who says with certainty that most men with any self-dignity will not date a smarter woman - or one who makes more money. He actually said this... out loud. It's no longer an internal theory... it's out there.
A Dressing Down by Make Up
Sign of aging: foundation alone no longer does it; you have to wallet dig for concealer.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
The Bachelor Still A Bachelor...
What? The latest 'Bachelor' couple didn't work out?!? You don't say!
Let the snarkfest for the next season begin!
Hipster Chris
So, had a date with my first pseudo-hipster the other night:
I was prepared for a guy who wore all black and had a shaved head. I was prepared for a guy who was too cool to laugh at my silly jokes and overall clumsiness. I was prepared for a liberal-minded "philosopher" who wanted to spout off social injustices and 'what's wrong with the media'. I was prepared for a guy who wanted to use his DJ status to showcase his cool and underground music playlist. I was prepared for aloofness, cool factor, and mystery.
The only thing I got that I expected was all black clothes and a shaved head. The rest was actually great.
We spent 4 hours at an E. Village bar - relaying and relating. It was momentous, as this hipster dude and moderately preppy blow-out girl actually had a lot of fun.
Got home around 1am - and he had already written me an email, which was nice. He's invited me to one of his spinning shows next week in Williamsburg. That leaves me just enough time to perfect a red stripe in my hair, buy leggings, and purchase some sort of asymmetrical shirt. Hipster mecca here I come!
I was prepared for a guy who wore all black and had a shaved head. I was prepared for a guy who was too cool to laugh at my silly jokes and overall clumsiness. I was prepared for a liberal-minded "philosopher" who wanted to spout off social injustices and 'what's wrong with the media'. I was prepared for a guy who wanted to use his DJ status to showcase his cool and underground music playlist. I was prepared for aloofness, cool factor, and mystery.
The only thing I got that I expected was all black clothes and a shaved head. The rest was actually great.
We spent 4 hours at an E. Village bar - relaying and relating. It was momentous, as this hipster dude and moderately preppy blow-out girl actually had a lot of fun.
Got home around 1am - and he had already written me an email, which was nice. He's invited me to one of his spinning shows next week in Williamsburg. That leaves me just enough time to perfect a red stripe in my hair, buy leggings, and purchase some sort of asymmetrical shirt. Hipster mecca here I come!
Me No Sleepy
You know you're in work too early when you arrive 1.5 hours before Space Shuttle astronauts even start their day.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Yep
The news business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.
Nothing Particular
THE SIGN
Yesterday, friends and I talking about the protocol for firing people. News is similar to financial services sector - you know you're in trouble when you arrive at work to find the Head of HR waiting for you in the front lobby. That's pretty much the sign. That got us thinking - what if the Head of HR was wearing a grim reaper costume?
THE 411
I hate that when you call 411 now - and if you just need a street address - you don't get the address. Operator instead automatically hooks you up to the phone number - and charges you to get an address texted to you. The fleecing of America...
VERBAGE
Speaking of texting, my friend Alexis will be appalled to learn that "text" is now a bonafide verb, recognized in the dictionary.
NERDS
Friend Ben is a new dad, and he seems more excited that his daughter's name is a palindrome than the fact that he has a daughter. We actually did high-fives over the name last night at dinner. Can you guess it, smarty pants?
DADDY WARBUCKS
Friend Steve bought me a $30 hairband at Barney's yesterday, and I tried on a $6000 quartz ring. Yeah - Ridiculous. Can't wait to sell out and marry for money. Until now, I've been a fool to fall for love - and that's gotten me alone and contemplating cats... lots of 'em.
BLACKJACK BLING
Forgot to mention, but last week - I nearly quadrupled my money at the Blackjack table in AC! I'm considering a career change.
Yesterday, friends and I talking about the protocol for firing people. News is similar to financial services sector - you know you're in trouble when you arrive at work to find the Head of HR waiting for you in the front lobby. That's pretty much the sign. That got us thinking - what if the Head of HR was wearing a grim reaper costume?
THE 411
I hate that when you call 411 now - and if you just need a street address - you don't get the address. Operator instead automatically hooks you up to the phone number - and charges you to get an address texted to you. The fleecing of America...
VERBAGE
Speaking of texting, my friend Alexis will be appalled to learn that "text" is now a bonafide verb, recognized in the dictionary.
NERDS
Friend Ben is a new dad, and he seems more excited that his daughter's name is a palindrome than the fact that he has a daughter. We actually did high-fives over the name last night at dinner. Can you guess it, smarty pants?
DADDY WARBUCKS
Friend Steve bought me a $30 hairband at Barney's yesterday, and I tried on a $6000 quartz ring. Yeah - Ridiculous. Can't wait to sell out and marry for money. Until now, I've been a fool to fall for love - and that's gotten me alone and contemplating cats... lots of 'em.
BLACKJACK BLING
Forgot to mention, but last week - I nearly quadrupled my money at the Blackjack table in AC! I'm considering a career change.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
WADE-A-MINUTE
Pouring down rain this morning. A newspaper delivery man was wearing waders. Random sight in Midtown.
I was like, "Look at that moron. Great, great, great idea and where can I buy some?"
I was like, "Look at that moron. Great, great, great idea and where can I buy some?"
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Mick Dundee and Me
Just when you thought your luck can't get any worse, you round a corner.... and sometimes, just sometimes - there's a great new adventure.
Last night - while leaving Belgian Blah - I got outside Bryant Park and turned a corner to wait at a light. Then, out of nowhere there he was - a floppy hatted, curly-haired cutie. He said, "Excuse me, do you know where Times Square is?" I told him that I was cutting through Times Square on my way home - and I'd walk him there.
This is the part that gets fun. Being in the middle of Times Square for the first time is pretty mind-blowing. Add about 20+ if you're from a different country. He was from Australia - so of course, besides being slayed by the accent - I was kinda excited to see him in Times Square.
At first glimpse of lights galore - he was pretty overwhelmed. But it was great seeing something I take for granted and consider a maddening tourist trap. He actually said, "I feel like I'm walking into a Video Game." Yeah, he was funny too.
So he takes picures, and I offer him a beer at the top of the Marriott Marquis revolving lounge (I know - totally touristy - but totally mind-blowing for an Aussie). After that, we're kinda buddies for the night. He's traveling around the world solo - and we have a lot to talk about. He then offers to take me somewhere for a beer.
We hitch a horse-and-carriage in Midtown and take it to Rudy's bar of all places. There, we laugh at our pub peers, play random songs on the jukebox with microphone singalong - we play a few practical jokes on each other - and we get into a mustard fight. So much fun.
We stay up until 7am back at my apartment - laughing and visiting, and ultimately passing out. We grab lunch around 1:30pm, head to the Whitney Museum (which is closed, darn the luck) - and part ways, promising to be email pals.
Overall - it was such a nice time getting to know a new, cool person. I'll drink to Belgium boy... who in a way, made it all possible.
Last night - while leaving Belgian Blah - I got outside Bryant Park and turned a corner to wait at a light. Then, out of nowhere there he was - a floppy hatted, curly-haired cutie. He said, "Excuse me, do you know where Times Square is?" I told him that I was cutting through Times Square on my way home - and I'd walk him there.
This is the part that gets fun. Being in the middle of Times Square for the first time is pretty mind-blowing. Add about 20+ if you're from a different country. He was from Australia - so of course, besides being slayed by the accent - I was kinda excited to see him in Times Square.
At first glimpse of lights galore - he was pretty overwhelmed. But it was great seeing something I take for granted and consider a maddening tourist trap. He actually said, "I feel like I'm walking into a Video Game." Yeah, he was funny too.
So he takes picures, and I offer him a beer at the top of the Marriott Marquis revolving lounge (I know - totally touristy - but totally mind-blowing for an Aussie). After that, we're kinda buddies for the night. He's traveling around the world solo - and we have a lot to talk about. He then offers to take me somewhere for a beer.
We hitch a horse-and-carriage in Midtown and take it to Rudy's bar of all places. There, we laugh at our pub peers, play random songs on the jukebox with microphone singalong - we play a few practical jokes on each other - and we get into a mustard fight. So much fun.
We stay up until 7am back at my apartment - laughing and visiting, and ultimately passing out. We grab lunch around 1:30pm, head to the Whitney Museum (which is closed, darn the luck) - and part ways, promising to be email pals.
Overall - it was such a nice time getting to know a new, cool person. I'll drink to Belgium boy... who in a way, made it all possible.
Throw Me Over
Last night was Night #1, Dating Anew, 'Back on the Horse"
Subject: Belgian Diamond Importer
Meeting Place: In front of the NYC Public Library, 6:30pm
Destination: outside bar at Bryant Park
Besides me sweating through a blowout in a humid, crowd-infested NYC rush hour traffic - I was excited about this guy - a fix-up first date. I had a picture, and thought he was cute. Also - he was from Belgium, and I like their chocolates.
Shortly into date, Fantasy and Reality Collided. It wasn't pretty.
He looked down on me from his Belgian beak when I ordered a Corona. He told me that he was soon taking a vacation with his on-again-off-again girlfriend. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! He told me a lot of things. It was horrible - and I was like "Why are we doing this? Why are you on a date at all?" I somehow morphed into his best guy friend or something - where he was telling me the last girls he dated - the soon-to-be-happening fabulous vacation with established lady friend - and asking me for advice. It was weird. We sat there for 2.5 hours. We parted, and I was sooooo relieved.
Subject: Belgian Diamond Importer
Meeting Place: In front of the NYC Public Library, 6:30pm
Destination: outside bar at Bryant Park
Besides me sweating through a blowout in a humid, crowd-infested NYC rush hour traffic - I was excited about this guy - a fix-up first date. I had a picture, and thought he was cute. Also - he was from Belgium, and I like their chocolates.
Shortly into date, Fantasy and Reality Collided. It wasn't pretty.
He looked down on me from his Belgian beak when I ordered a Corona. He told me that he was soon taking a vacation with his on-again-off-again girlfriend. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! He told me a lot of things. It was horrible - and I was like "Why are we doing this? Why are you on a date at all?" I somehow morphed into his best guy friend or something - where he was telling me the last girls he dated - the soon-to-be-happening fabulous vacation with established lady friend - and asking me for advice. It was weird. We sat there for 2.5 hours. We parted, and I was sooooo relieved.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Brother in Djibouti
From Chris today:
We made touchdown at 3 am yesterday and it has been pretty much non-stop since. In the mornings it feels like you are in Amazon because warm/humid air blows off the ocean, and in the afternoon when the sun sets up it feels like someone has a blow dryer 2 inches from your face. In short, its hot. Anyway, I just wanted to send you a quick email to let you know I'm here and all is well for now. Take care and will get in touch with further detail later.
*His experience with the intense heat sounds exactly like an Allison blowout!
We made touchdown at 3 am yesterday and it has been pretty much non-stop since. In the mornings it feels like you are in Amazon because warm/humid air blows off the ocean, and in the afternoon when the sun sets up it feels like someone has a blow dryer 2 inches from your face. In short, its hot. Anyway, I just wanted to send you a quick email to let you know I'm here and all is well for now. Take care and will get in touch with further detail later.
*His experience with the intense heat sounds exactly like an Allison blowout!
Friday, August 3, 2007
Box Office Beaut
Our entertainment reporter, Bill Diehl - says The Bourne Ultimatum is absolutely fantastic... adding that his wife, who doesn't like action movies - was blown away and "hanging on for dear life" during certain scenes.
I can't wait.
In other news, Jon Voight was in our newsroom yesterday - plugging his new tween movie, "Bratz." Yes, Academy Award winner Jon Voight was plugging "Bratz." Paps pix of him outside our building. His hair is perfect.
I can't wait.
In other news, Jon Voight was in our newsroom yesterday - plugging his new tween movie, "Bratz." Yes, Academy Award winner Jon Voight was plugging "Bratz." Paps pix of him outside our building. His hair is perfect.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Somewhere Between Night and Day
3 hours sleep. Not functional. On 2nd cup of iced coffee.
Upon getting out of the cab sometime between 4:15am-4:20am, I actually said, "Have a nice nay."
Upon getting out of the cab sometime between 4:15am-4:20am, I actually said, "Have a nice nay."
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