Ran into my Super the other morning at my elevator. Here's how it went:
Super: (thick Bulgarian accent) "I am glad I ran into you."
Me: "Hi! How are you?"
Super: "I need to talk to you."
Me: "Okay..."
Super: "Your downstairs neighbor - she is very upset with you. She says you make too much noise at night."
Me: "Oh dear - well, I'm not doing anything particularly loud."
Super: "She says you are walking around."
Me: "Yes..??"
Super: "Late at night, like 1 or 2 in the morning."
Me: "Well, I've been getting home from work at 1 or 2 in the morning, so that's probably why."
Super: "She cannot sleep."
Me: "Well, I'm not playing music or listening to the television loudly."
Super: "Yes, it's your walking that's keeping her up. Do you have carpet?"
Me: "I have an area rug, and I usually take my shoes off when I get home."
Super: "Well, you cannot walk around late at night like that. I don't want to have to write a note." (I have no idea what that meant - is she a Resident Advisor at college who's going to write me up?)
Me: "I will try to be more mindful, but it's just a lifestyle schedule thing. That's when I've been getting home from work this week."
Super: "Well, don't do it. I don't want to get involved."
As I entered the elevator, I became pretty defensive. The thoughts raced through my head: CAN'T WALK AROUND AT NIGHT? I'm not going to be a prisoner in my own home! I'm not complaining every time a neighbor's dog barks at 6am - wanting to be taken out, while I'm sleeping! So you can bet my new nighttime ritual will go a little something like this:
80s music while getting a good calisthenics session going - in heels... big, loud, clunky heels.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Way to Go, Heather!
Time Out New York / Issue 681 : Oct 16–22, 2008
Great walks
The Inwood Peace Walk
How to align your chakras in less than four hours.
By Heather
According to many Hindu, tantric, Chinese and Western alternative-medicine models, chakras are energy focal points located along the spine and intersecting with the central nervous system. New Age enthusiasts believe that keeping one’s chakras balanced contributes to overall physical and spiritual health. For this jaunt, you’ll start at the bottom and work your way north—both corporeally and geographically.
1. Warm up your root chakra and its connection with the earth by wandering the grounds of Fort Tryon’s Heather Garden, named for the pinkish flower more commonly found in Great Britain. The terraced garden leads to the Promenade, which offers gorgeous vistas of the Hudson River, the Palisades and the George Washington Bridge.
2. Continue north along the pathway to The Cloisters (99 Margaret Corbin Dr in Fort Tryon Park, 212-923-3700; suggested donation $20), a medieval-European art museum. Your sacral chakra, devoted to creativity and emotion, will get a workout as you peruse pieces from the Romanesque to the Gothic periods.
3. Save your appetite for New Leaf Café (1 Margaret Corbin Dr at Fort Tryon Park, 212-568-5323), built in the 1930s and serving imaginative New American fare. Sit outside and activate your solar plexus chakra, the center of your life-force energy, by basking in the fall sunlight. Exit the park at Broadway and pick up litter; this engages your heart chakra, the center of compassion.
4. Walk north on Broadway and you’ll pass Dyckman Farmhouse (4881 Broadway at 204th St, 212-304-9422), the oldest remaining farmhouse in Manhattan, dating back to 1784. Adult admission is $1 and includes access to the back gardens and a tour of the lovingly restored interior.
5. Entertain your throat chakra at The Piper’s Kilt (4944 Broadway between Isham and 207th Sts, 212-569-7071). A simple brick facade gives way to a dark interior appointed with natural wood and Yankees memorabilia. Tap beers start at $4, but the throat chakra is more about communication; chat it up with regulars like Andy Macagnone, an Inwooder since 1961. “I was born on 190th Street, and christened and married in the same church on Broadway!”
6. The third-eye chakra is all about higher intuition; visit the outdoor Inwood Farmers’ Market (Isham St between Cooper and Seaman Sts, 212-788-7476) and let your psychic powers decide what to buy: just-baked apple turnovers, local honey or free-range turkey sausage.
7. Continuing west, you’ll stumble upon the 196-acre marvel that is Inwood Hill Park (184 Seaman Ave, 212-304-2365), Manhattan’s last primeval forest and its only saltwater marsh. While you’re there, snap a photo of the city’s most famous real-estate purchase: The Shorakapok Rock is across the soccer field near the salt marsh, and is believed to be where Peter Minuit bought Manhattan from the Lenape for $24 in trinkets.
8. Lastly, treat your crown chakra, responsible for spiritual consciousness, by enjoying the stained-glass sunshine at Church of the Good Shepherd (4967 Broadway at Isham St, 212-567-1300), a Roman Catholic wonder built in granite and limestone, with terra-cotta roofing and recessed buttresses. The hush that greets visitors provokes silent reverence, and it’s a fine way to revel in your alignment—even if it’ll take the MTA only 15 minutes to tie you back into knots.
Great walks
The Inwood Peace Walk
How to align your chakras in less than four hours.
By Heather
According to many Hindu, tantric, Chinese and Western alternative-medicine models, chakras are energy focal points located along the spine and intersecting with the central nervous system. New Age enthusiasts believe that keeping one’s chakras balanced contributes to overall physical and spiritual health. For this jaunt, you’ll start at the bottom and work your way north—both corporeally and geographically.
1. Warm up your root chakra and its connection with the earth by wandering the grounds of Fort Tryon’s Heather Garden, named for the pinkish flower more commonly found in Great Britain. The terraced garden leads to the Promenade, which offers gorgeous vistas of the Hudson River, the Palisades and the George Washington Bridge.
2. Continue north along the pathway to The Cloisters (99 Margaret Corbin Dr in Fort Tryon Park, 212-923-3700; suggested donation $20), a medieval-European art museum. Your sacral chakra, devoted to creativity and emotion, will get a workout as you peruse pieces from the Romanesque to the Gothic periods.
3. Save your appetite for New Leaf Café (1 Margaret Corbin Dr at Fort Tryon Park, 212-568-5323), built in the 1930s and serving imaginative New American fare. Sit outside and activate your solar plexus chakra, the center of your life-force energy, by basking in the fall sunlight. Exit the park at Broadway and pick up litter; this engages your heart chakra, the center of compassion.
4. Walk north on Broadway and you’ll pass Dyckman Farmhouse (4881 Broadway at 204th St, 212-304-9422), the oldest remaining farmhouse in Manhattan, dating back to 1784. Adult admission is $1 and includes access to the back gardens and a tour of the lovingly restored interior.
5. Entertain your throat chakra at The Piper’s Kilt (4944 Broadway between Isham and 207th Sts, 212-569-7071). A simple brick facade gives way to a dark interior appointed with natural wood and Yankees memorabilia. Tap beers start at $4, but the throat chakra is more about communication; chat it up with regulars like Andy Macagnone, an Inwooder since 1961. “I was born on 190th Street, and christened and married in the same church on Broadway!”
6. The third-eye chakra is all about higher intuition; visit the outdoor Inwood Farmers’ Market (Isham St between Cooper and Seaman Sts, 212-788-7476) and let your psychic powers decide what to buy: just-baked apple turnovers, local honey or free-range turkey sausage.
7. Continuing west, you’ll stumble upon the 196-acre marvel that is Inwood Hill Park (184 Seaman Ave, 212-304-2365), Manhattan’s last primeval forest and its only saltwater marsh. While you’re there, snap a photo of the city’s most famous real-estate purchase: The Shorakapok Rock is across the soccer field near the salt marsh, and is believed to be where Peter Minuit bought Manhattan from the Lenape for $24 in trinkets.
8. Lastly, treat your crown chakra, responsible for spiritual consciousness, by enjoying the stained-glass sunshine at Church of the Good Shepherd (4967 Broadway at Isham St, 212-567-1300), a Roman Catholic wonder built in granite and limestone, with terra-cotta roofing and recessed buttresses. The hush that greets visitors provokes silent reverence, and it’s a fine way to revel in your alignment—even if it’ll take the MTA only 15 minutes to tie you back into knots.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Red Rover, Red Rover - It's Over
So - after about a month of travel back and forth - and the difficulties of starting a relationship with distance the chief factor - Rob and I called it quits this weekend. I'm a bit down, but don't think the relationship could have sustained itself without adequate time together. C'est la vie.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sad Sunday
The weekend was marked by some sad news for me and my family - my grandfather passed away suddenly. He was an amazing man and we'll all miss his Texas charm, intellect, and generosity.
One of my favorite memories was about 6 years ago - when he found out I didn't even own a cowboy hat. A lifelong Texas, he was completely appalled. In fact, he personally escorted me to the store to get a Stetson fitted! I'll miss him, for sure.
He led an amazing life. The obituary:
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Edward E. Monteith Jr.
Monteith, Jr., Edward E. Born January 14, 1922, Ed Monteith was a native Dallasite. He attended North Dallas High School and then Texas A&M where he received a B.S. in Engineering in 1943. While at Texas A&M, Mr. Monteith achieved the rank of Cadet Captain, was a Distinguished student, member of Tau Beta Pi Honorary Fraternity, member of an intramural sports championship team, and received the Texas A&M's Veterans Club Best Drilled Metal in 1941.
In January of 1943 Mr. Monteith began service as an Anti-Aircraft Artillery Battery Officer for the U.S Army, commanding a semi-mobile gun unit. In September of that year he entered the U.S. Army Air Corps in which he served through January 1946, achieving the rank of First Lieutenant. Mr. Monteith piloted a B-24 Aircraft as part of the 13th Air Force in the Pacific. For his military service he received three Air Medals and the Philippines Liberation Medal and Star. After completing his military service, Monteith returned to Texas A&M, completing B.S. degrees in Mechanical Engineering and Petroleum Engineering in 1947.
Mr. Monteith began his professional career in January of 1947 as a Petroleum Engineer for Standard Oil Company of Texas. In September of that year he moved to Republic Bank, Dallas working as a Petroleum Engineer in the Petroleum and Minerals Division. He remained at Republic Bank until 1978 holding the positions of Assistant Vice President, Vice President, Senior Vice President and finally Executive Vice President, where he managed the Petroleum and Minerals Division for 14 years. While at the bank Ed earned a Masters Degree in The Executive Advance Management Program at Harvard University. From 1978-1982 Monteith served as President and General Manager of Thomson-Monteith, and as Chairman and CEO of the same firm from 1982-1988.
Mr. Monteith has been quite generous to Texas A&M, giving both time and money. A member of the Dallas A&M Club for the past 45 years, he served as a Trustee for the Texas A&M Development Foundation from 1972-1983 and has served as a Trustee of the Easterwood Foundation since 1980. He was a co-founder and Director of AMC Corporation, which has contributed over $250,000 to the Association of Former Students since 1961.
Mr. Monteith provided a President's Endowed Scholarship and special gifts to the Petroleum Engineering Department for budget supplementation and special projects. He has been a member of the Century Club since 1964. A member of the Texas A&M Library Development Council since 1983, he served as President of that council for 1987 and 1988.
Ed is survived by his wife of 65 years, Virginia; and two daughters: Jo Ann Houseman of Dallas and her husband Frank; and Patty Browne of Arlington, VA and her husband Bob; a son, Edward E. Monteith, III of Galveston and his wife Eve; and seven grandchildren. They are members of the Northway Christian Church, where they contributed to the building fund of the new sanctuary. Mr. Monteith enjoyed golf, tennis, jogging, skiing and photography. Services are pending at Restland Memorial Park. Donations to the charity of your choice are appreciated.
One of my favorite memories was about 6 years ago - when he found out I didn't even own a cowboy hat. A lifelong Texas, he was completely appalled. In fact, he personally escorted me to the store to get a Stetson fitted! I'll miss him, for sure.
He led an amazing life. The obituary:
.JPG)
Edward E. Monteith Jr.
Monteith, Jr., Edward E. Born January 14, 1922, Ed Monteith was a native Dallasite. He attended North Dallas High School and then Texas A&M where he received a B.S. in Engineering in 1943. While at Texas A&M, Mr. Monteith achieved the rank of Cadet Captain, was a Distinguished student, member of Tau Beta Pi Honorary Fraternity, member of an intramural sports championship team, and received the Texas A&M's Veterans Club Best Drilled Metal in 1941.
In January of 1943 Mr. Monteith began service as an Anti-Aircraft Artillery Battery Officer for the U.S Army, commanding a semi-mobile gun unit. In September of that year he entered the U.S. Army Air Corps in which he served through January 1946, achieving the rank of First Lieutenant. Mr. Monteith piloted a B-24 Aircraft as part of the 13th Air Force in the Pacific. For his military service he received three Air Medals and the Philippines Liberation Medal and Star. After completing his military service, Monteith returned to Texas A&M, completing B.S. degrees in Mechanical Engineering and Petroleum Engineering in 1947.
Mr. Monteith began his professional career in January of 1947 as a Petroleum Engineer for Standard Oil Company of Texas. In September of that year he moved to Republic Bank, Dallas working as a Petroleum Engineer in the Petroleum and Minerals Division. He remained at Republic Bank until 1978 holding the positions of Assistant Vice President, Vice President, Senior Vice President and finally Executive Vice President, where he managed the Petroleum and Minerals Division for 14 years. While at the bank Ed earned a Masters Degree in The Executive Advance Management Program at Harvard University. From 1978-1982 Monteith served as President and General Manager of Thomson-Monteith, and as Chairman and CEO of the same firm from 1982-1988.
Mr. Monteith has been quite generous to Texas A&M, giving both time and money. A member of the Dallas A&M Club for the past 45 years, he served as a Trustee for the Texas A&M Development Foundation from 1972-1983 and has served as a Trustee of the Easterwood Foundation since 1980. He was a co-founder and Director of AMC Corporation, which has contributed over $250,000 to the Association of Former Students since 1961.
Mr. Monteith provided a President's Endowed Scholarship and special gifts to the Petroleum Engineering Department for budget supplementation and special projects. He has been a member of the Century Club since 1964. A member of the Texas A&M Library Development Council since 1983, he served as President of that council for 1987 and 1988.
Ed is survived by his wife of 65 years, Virginia; and two daughters: Jo Ann Houseman of Dallas and her husband Frank; and Patty Browne of Arlington, VA and her husband Bob; a son, Edward E. Monteith, III of Galveston and his wife Eve; and seven grandchildren. They are members of the Northway Christian Church, where they contributed to the building fund of the new sanctuary. Mr. Monteith enjoyed golf, tennis, jogging, skiing and photography. Services are pending at Restland Memorial Park. Donations to the charity of your choice are appreciated.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Believe It or Not!
When a tennis ball, 2 packs of pop rocks, 2 Diet Dr. Peppers, an Ecco Domani cork, package of Big League chew, and a candy watch sleeve are dumped out of your purse at the end of a night, you know you had fun!
Thanks Dan for a fun date - here's the picture of your Pickled Head in a Jar!
Thanks Dan for a fun date - here's the picture of your Pickled Head in a Jar!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Perception at Play
Here are a list of words people seldom use, but when they do - a certain importance hangs on each one... as well as the user:
1) Red Eye - You're not taking the red eye flight from San Francisco or LA unless you're REALLY important. You need to get somewhere - and your schedule is just TOO packed and busy to use up 5 hours of a "normal-person's day."
2) Jet Lagged - Often the result of taking the 'Red Eye' - and even though I arrive at destination half-asleep, you should cater to me because I'm soooooo 'Jet-lagged' (aka - multicultural, time-zone hopping, important).
3) Pate - Ordering this at a restaurant will make you feel super important and privileged, and will often impress your fellow patrons. But if you REALLY liked pate - wouldn't it be in your fridge?
4) Maid - when you use 'maid' instead of 'housekeeper' or 'cleaning lady' - you evoke the sense that you're super-rich - like the Drummonds on "Diff'rent Strokes" and this person makes your meals.
5) Acupuncture - I know first-hand how this little word can impress. People admire your bravery for submitting yourself to natural healing and holistic approaches - not to mention the associated cost with some of these treatments. Little do they know it's not as expensive as you think when a caucasian guy named Ron - with no formal training or certificates or diplomas - randomly shoves needles into you. But your 'acupunture' appointments sure make you sound important and enlightened!
6) Barneys. No one uses this word unless they live in New York - and if you shop here - that makes you sound super-hip and trendy. But then again, if you live in NYC, aren't you supposed to be super-hip and trendy?
7) The Shuttle. No one who doesn't fly between DC, Boston, or NYC knows what the shuttle is... so using this in conversation makes you sound like part of a club... a secret "shuttle" club.
8) Car Service. Before I lived in NYC, when I would talk with my NY friends over the phone - sometimes they would say things like "I'm taking the car service" or "I need to get a car service." I imagined this as a personal limo service - thinking my friends were soooooo important. Little did I know anyone in NYC can get a car service, and it's either by a company named "Carmel" or by a guy who plays DR music WAY TOO LOUD, and tries to repeatedly hit on you by using his homemade business card.
What other ones are out there?
1) Red Eye - You're not taking the red eye flight from San Francisco or LA unless you're REALLY important. You need to get somewhere - and your schedule is just TOO packed and busy to use up 5 hours of a "normal-person's day."
2) Jet Lagged - Often the result of taking the 'Red Eye' - and even though I arrive at destination half-asleep, you should cater to me because I'm soooooo 'Jet-lagged' (aka - multicultural, time-zone hopping, important).
3) Pate - Ordering this at a restaurant will make you feel super important and privileged, and will often impress your fellow patrons. But if you REALLY liked pate - wouldn't it be in your fridge?
4) Maid - when you use 'maid' instead of 'housekeeper' or 'cleaning lady' - you evoke the sense that you're super-rich - like the Drummonds on "Diff'rent Strokes" and this person makes your meals.
5) Acupuncture - I know first-hand how this little word can impress. People admire your bravery for submitting yourself to natural healing and holistic approaches - not to mention the associated cost with some of these treatments. Little do they know it's not as expensive as you think when a caucasian guy named Ron - with no formal training or certificates or diplomas - randomly shoves needles into you. But your 'acupunture' appointments sure make you sound important and enlightened!
6) Barneys. No one uses this word unless they live in New York - and if you shop here - that makes you sound super-hip and trendy. But then again, if you live in NYC, aren't you supposed to be super-hip and trendy?
7) The Shuttle. No one who doesn't fly between DC, Boston, or NYC knows what the shuttle is... so using this in conversation makes you sound like part of a club... a secret "shuttle" club.
8) Car Service. Before I lived in NYC, when I would talk with my NY friends over the phone - sometimes they would say things like "I'm taking the car service" or "I need to get a car service." I imagined this as a personal limo service - thinking my friends were soooooo important. Little did I know anyone in NYC can get a car service, and it's either by a company named "Carmel" or by a guy who plays DR music WAY TOO LOUD, and tries to repeatedly hit on you by using his homemade business card.
What other ones are out there?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Waste O' Money?
As I toiled over work today, where it seems to be more lackluster financial news - whether it's housing, inflation, banks, markets, oil - a big ol' party was going on outside. Maybe it was my mood - but don't we have better things to spend money on these days than a 15-block, high-security MLB All-Stars parade? I'm all for honoring athletes, but I found the pomp and circumstance, 15-block red carpet, scores of security personnel, blocked traffic and high-end production of the event kinda obnoxious.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Scandi Store Instructions
Up until last Saturday, I hadn't been to an IKEA in about 8 years. I now remember why...
Since I was in town this past weekend, I took up an offer by Sonja to head to the new store in Brooklyn. She's moving, and needed a new sofa - so I joined her and her mom to help select the seating.
Here are a couple of suggestions the next time you go to the place the size of 5 airplane hangars, looking for that halogen lamp:
1) When riding the shuttle to the store, look at people around you. If they already look hassled and miserable - then it's a pretty safe bet they're going to remain hassled and miserable at the store.
2) Get to know these people on the shuttle bus... observe their clothing and behavior. If you're walking into the store at the same time, you're going to be running into these same hassled and miserable people - as well as their carts and elbows the rest of the day.
3) Notice I used the word "day" in the last sentence. IKEA swallows up an entire DAY, and if you think otherwise, you are a fool. The clocks in the clock department don't even reflect real time - many are dead - like your brain.
4) Even though there are signs for "shortcuts" through the maze that is IKEA - they aren't really the shortest of cuts. I went through 2, and wound up in the same stinky candle and silk flower section 4 times. Then you're lost. Nice one IKEA - all part of the "marketing scheme."
5) Avoid the kids department. There you will find parents too yuppified to drop their kids off at the babysitting station, and as a result, you will see children catapult off bunk beds shaped like space ships - only to be followed by wailing and screams when their little feet don't land quite right.
6) Bring a tape measure. The paper ones IKEA provides break - leading people to crowd around furniture - using their arms, fingers, feet, hands, and toes as measuring tools. I know, I considered measuring one too many things with my middle finger that day.
7) The cooking department is INSANE. Don't go there, unless of course you literally want to live the "Melting Pot" that is America.
8) If you lose your group like I did and you don't have a handy flare or two with you - then stand around near the checkout and observe the male shoppers. Most, obediently following their girlfriend/spouses will make eye contact with you - with a certain "HELP ME" frenzy in their eyes... like "This chick and I just went to the movies a couple of times, and now I'm here at IKEA lugging furniture parts!" They don't want to be there either... and they know what's coming when they get home... "Assembly Required" - and probably a first fight.
9) Be advised there is no cell phone service in IKEA, which makes losing your group the most helpless and hopeless predicament of all time. Wonder why there's no cell service in IKEA... again, part of the grandiose "marketing scheme"?
9) If you do lose your group and can't connect over cell phone, just relax and stay in the same spot. Don't do what I did and buy a colander, 2 spatulas, and some Swedish jam in the meantime. I needed none of these things, but my reasoning was that I was at IKEA, so I should get something...
10) Upon finding each other, greet one another with hearty hugs and beaming smiles - like you've been reunited after being held by Colombian rebels for 5 years. Seriously - it's that special of a moment.
11) The "Checkout" signs should also include the term "Suckers" because after you pay, you're not done, silly. You haven't yet hit the "Home Delivery" line, which looks like something out of a Biblical exodus.
12) An hour later - when finally out of the store, a sense of balance and normalcy begins to replenish. This process will take several hours to restore your faculties to that of a normal person, but the re-entry process is one to embrace.
13) Board the shuttle with your bright blue bags with a sense of achievement. You made it! And as the woman behind you says aloud, "That was the most horrendous experience of my life" - take a deep breath, chuckle to yourself, and offer her some Swedish jam.
Since I was in town this past weekend, I took up an offer by Sonja to head to the new store in Brooklyn. She's moving, and needed a new sofa - so I joined her and her mom to help select the seating.
Here are a couple of suggestions the next time you go to the place the size of 5 airplane hangars, looking for that halogen lamp:
1) When riding the shuttle to the store, look at people around you. If they already look hassled and miserable - then it's a pretty safe bet they're going to remain hassled and miserable at the store.
2) Get to know these people on the shuttle bus... observe their clothing and behavior. If you're walking into the store at the same time, you're going to be running into these same hassled and miserable people - as well as their carts and elbows the rest of the day.
3) Notice I used the word "day" in the last sentence. IKEA swallows up an entire DAY, and if you think otherwise, you are a fool. The clocks in the clock department don't even reflect real time - many are dead - like your brain.
4) Even though there are signs for "shortcuts" through the maze that is IKEA - they aren't really the shortest of cuts. I went through 2, and wound up in the same stinky candle and silk flower section 4 times. Then you're lost. Nice one IKEA - all part of the "marketing scheme."
5) Avoid the kids department. There you will find parents too yuppified to drop their kids off at the babysitting station, and as a result, you will see children catapult off bunk beds shaped like space ships - only to be followed by wailing and screams when their little feet don't land quite right.
6) Bring a tape measure. The paper ones IKEA provides break - leading people to crowd around furniture - using their arms, fingers, feet, hands, and toes as measuring tools. I know, I considered measuring one too many things with my middle finger that day.
7) The cooking department is INSANE. Don't go there, unless of course you literally want to live the "Melting Pot" that is America.
8) If you lose your group like I did and you don't have a handy flare or two with you - then stand around near the checkout and observe the male shoppers. Most, obediently following their girlfriend/spouses will make eye contact with you - with a certain "HELP ME" frenzy in their eyes... like "This chick and I just went to the movies a couple of times, and now I'm here at IKEA lugging furniture parts!" They don't want to be there either... and they know what's coming when they get home... "Assembly Required" - and probably a first fight.
9) Be advised there is no cell phone service in IKEA, which makes losing your group the most helpless and hopeless predicament of all time. Wonder why there's no cell service in IKEA... again, part of the grandiose "marketing scheme"?
9) If you do lose your group and can't connect over cell phone, just relax and stay in the same spot. Don't do what I did and buy a colander, 2 spatulas, and some Swedish jam in the meantime. I needed none of these things, but my reasoning was that I was at IKEA, so I should get something...
10) Upon finding each other, greet one another with hearty hugs and beaming smiles - like you've been reunited after being held by Colombian rebels for 5 years. Seriously - it's that special of a moment.
11) The "Checkout" signs should also include the term "Suckers" because after you pay, you're not done, silly. You haven't yet hit the "Home Delivery" line, which looks like something out of a Biblical exodus.
12) An hour later - when finally out of the store, a sense of balance and normalcy begins to replenish. This process will take several hours to restore your faculties to that of a normal person, but the re-entry process is one to embrace.
13) Board the shuttle with your bright blue bags with a sense of achievement. You made it! And as the woman behind you says aloud, "That was the most horrendous experience of my life" - take a deep breath, chuckle to yourself, and offer her some Swedish jam.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Weekend Ramblin'
July 4th weekend was pretty rad, and pretty random.
4th of July was spent at Anna's pad in Brooklyn... a great space. It's also an excellent rooftop perch to spot the fireworks show. Anyway, great collection of different people, and Anna's place is so juiced up - we were playing Wii and Guitar Hero until 5am. Thanks Anna!
July 5th was spent recovering from July 4th - before boarding a train to Connecticut. Alexis had invited me to her boyfriend, Scott's, house in Greenwich for a steak dinner. There were some DC friends there, so it was good catching up on their happenings. Anyway - dinner was an elaborate spread, with some potato salad that had everyone humming with delight. We then took a latenight dip in the pool, while swigging wine out of the bottle, and lighting some pretty lame fireworks. All in all - fun, but random.
Woke up to a great french toast breakfast - and before I knew it, there were a lot of goodbyes, I was able to sweet-talk my way into scoring the potato salad recipe, and I was back on the train to NYC. Too short.
4th of July was spent at Anna's pad in Brooklyn... a great space. It's also an excellent rooftop perch to spot the fireworks show. Anyway, great collection of different people, and Anna's place is so juiced up - we were playing Wii and Guitar Hero until 5am. Thanks Anna!
July 5th was spent recovering from July 4th - before boarding a train to Connecticut. Alexis had invited me to her boyfriend, Scott's, house in Greenwich for a steak dinner. There were some DC friends there, so it was good catching up on their happenings. Anyway - dinner was an elaborate spread, with some potato salad that had everyone humming with delight. We then took a latenight dip in the pool, while swigging wine out of the bottle, and lighting some pretty lame fireworks. All in all - fun, but random.
Woke up to a great french toast breakfast - and before I knew it, there were a lot of goodbyes, I was able to sweet-talk my way into scoring the potato salad recipe, and I was back on the train to NYC. Too short.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Mornin' Joe
I really hate getting coffee in the morning. It's just such a PROCESS. I don't for the life of me understand why coffee shops put EVERYTHING one needs into a 2'x2' space. I mean, I'm trying to pour in milk in the same place where the coffee spout, lids, cinnamon, Splendas, stirs, straws, ice and sleeves are located. As a result, it's a chaotic scene of people jockeying for position. It's really not a good way to start the day - half-asleep and wanting to pour scalding hot coffee on some guy who's taking too long to figure out if he wants skim or whole milk. Seriously people!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Impromptu Girls Night Out
No matter how big this city is, sometimes you just run smack dab into someone you know.
Tonight, as I waited for Sarah and Heather for drinks at Worldwide Plaza - I ran into Alex and Lilly!
Our night, with the help of some margaritas, and a pedicab driver:
Tonight, as I waited for Sarah and Heather for drinks at Worldwide Plaza - I ran into Alex and Lilly!
Our night, with the help of some margaritas, and a pedicab driver:
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Cam Phone Dump
Israel Day Parade - Not Complete without JDate-Mobile.
Pretty Day In the Park
Skate Party with George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars
We Called Him Towel-Made Aladdin-Pants
Another Parade - Puerto Rican Madness!
Gamers Unite
Dinner with the Germans
Poolside in LA
Room with a View in Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara Surfside
NJ Shore
Pretty Meghan
Jessi & Alli - Down at the Shore
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Wall Street Journal Rage
So I came home from vacation to this sign posted in my apartment lobby:
Yikes!
Yikes!
Hair Care Hoarder
Nothing's better than hitting your neighborhood independently-owned drug store and discovering they're doing a liquidation sale - with 30% off EVERYTHING. I went right to the hair care aisle, didn't come up for air, and stocked up like never before on Frenchy french products for the locks.
This Dude Crazy
Subject: RE: Hi Allison
Body:
LOL! Ok?
Guess you didn't enjoy our first meeting?
Oh well...I tried?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ..Allison..
Date: Jun 17, 2008 1:49 PM
No
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ..Jeff..
Date: Jun 16, 2008 8:13 PM
Interested in meeting up for drinks????
Jeff
Body:
LOL! Ok?
Guess you didn't enjoy our first meeting?
Oh well...I tried?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ..Allison..
Date: Jun 17, 2008 1:49 PM
No
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ..Jeff..
Date: Jun 16, 2008 8:13 PM
Interested in meeting up for drinks????
Jeff
For Real?
Remember the guy who texted me this after I told him I wasn't interested?
"Wow! Guess u had a change of heart huh? Were u just going to completely ignor me Allison??? Thanks for being an ASS! Take Care!"
He just sent me this on MySpace:
"Interested in meeting up for drinks????
Jeff"
MY LIFE!!!!!!
"Wow! Guess u had a change of heart huh? Were u just going to completely ignor me Allison??? Thanks for being an ASS! Take Care!"
He just sent me this on MySpace:
"Interested in meeting up for drinks????
Jeff"
MY LIFE!!!!!!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
More French
So - I got back to French guy, saying I'd be available to meet for coffee next week, and this is the email I get in return:
"Sure, but let's just keep in touch till then. BTW, tell me a bit about you: your true values and interests as a woman in life? I just think that we have a chance to truly communicate to go beyond our random meeting so to make it lovely and unique, romantic and productive... Do you agree, then?"
Is it just me, or is it a little too heavy? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because well - he's french. But I'm also feeling a bit of pressure.
I haven't responded - goodness, I don't even know how to.
Suggestions?
"Sure, but let's just keep in touch till then. BTW, tell me a bit about you: your true values and interests as a woman in life? I just think that we have a chance to truly communicate to go beyond our random meeting so to make it lovely and unique, romantic and productive... Do you agree, then?"
Is it just me, or is it a little too heavy? I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because well - he's french. But I'm also feeling a bit of pressure.
I haven't responded - goodness, I don't even know how to.
Suggestions?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Random French Guy Emails
Subject: Good to meet you
Bonjour Mademoiselle Allison,
Comment vas-tu? Passes-tu une très bonne journée en ce moment!?
Well, it was good meeting last night on our way to Lexington Ave... I found you quite interesting to talk to. Very intriguing, indeed. Behind your appearance you seem like a good-hearted girl to spend time with.
I guess one of the beauties and mysteries of the life's journey are special people you meet along the way. It is a small world and sometimes the best relationship develops by chance.
Are you available to have coffee sometime next week, then? Two dear companions who enjoy each other company to explore the beauties of life... It works for me and hope it works for you as well!
Reading you soon...
Best regards,
A bientôt,
____________________
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Bonjour Mademoiselle Allison,
Comment vas-tu? Passes-tu une très bonne journée en ce moment!?
Well, it was good meeting last night on our way to Lexington Ave... I found you quite interesting to talk to. Very intriguing, indeed. Behind your appearance you seem like a good-hearted girl to spend time with.
I guess one of the beauties and mysteries of the life's journey are special people you meet along the way. It is a small world and sometimes the best relationship develops by chance.
Are you available to have coffee sometime next week, then? Two dear companions who enjoy each other company to explore the beauties of life... It works for me and hope it works for you as well!
Reading you soon...
Best regards,
A bientôt,
____________________
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Spray Tanned
I got my first ever spray tan today, and it was ridiculously adventurous. Things I've learned from fake basting:
1) Don't decide to do this spur-of-the-moment like I did. You can never exfoliate enough.
2) Don't be afraid to strip down in the buff. Yeah, you're in 7-foot high stall, but it still feels like public nudity, which should satisfy any urge you had to streak the Quad in college.
3) Put on that shower cap. It's just not worth it to mess with $200 highlights.
4) When you position yourself in the spray stall, make sure you're emotionally prepared to hit the start button. For some reason, the Automated countdown of "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" sure makes you feel like you're going to blast off.
5) Hold your breath and close your eyes. The former is especially important, so you don't inhale gasps of bottled sunlight and proceed to have whooping cough like I did.
6) Do a little dance as the spray's being applied. Kinda like you're hoola-hooping. This will assure an even tone, as well as amuse you as you imagine how ridiculous you look.
7) Wear loose clothes, so that when you're done - your low-rise relaxed fit don't become skinny jeans.
8) Afterwards, eat the complimentary York Peppermint Pattie they leave for you (random!!!).
9) Go back again - because it leaves you sunkist and dewy!
1) Don't decide to do this spur-of-the-moment like I did. You can never exfoliate enough.
2) Don't be afraid to strip down in the buff. Yeah, you're in 7-foot high stall, but it still feels like public nudity, which should satisfy any urge you had to streak the Quad in college.
3) Put on that shower cap. It's just not worth it to mess with $200 highlights.
4) When you position yourself in the spray stall, make sure you're emotionally prepared to hit the start button. For some reason, the Automated countdown of "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" sure makes you feel like you're going to blast off.
5) Hold your breath and close your eyes. The former is especially important, so you don't inhale gasps of bottled sunlight and proceed to have whooping cough like I did.
6) Do a little dance as the spray's being applied. Kinda like you're hoola-hooping. This will assure an even tone, as well as amuse you as you imagine how ridiculous you look.
7) Wear loose clothes, so that when you're done - your low-rise relaxed fit don't become skinny jeans.
8) Afterwards, eat the complimentary York Peppermint Pattie they leave for you (random!!!).
9) Go back again - because it leaves you sunkist and dewy!
Sex and The City
Saw the big movie last night, in a theater packed full of women. Movie was a good popcorner and I'm sure will rake in a ton of dough, but I don't think it was a tentpoler.
*For a very amusing take on how the REAL women of Manhattan live, check out my friend Heather's post. She nails it funnier than I ever could. Click on the title for her post.
*For a very amusing take on how the REAL women of Manhattan live, check out my friend Heather's post. She nails it funnier than I ever could. Click on the title for her post.
Mobile Pix
Finally got around to uploading pix from my phone from the last 6 months:
View from My Apartment Doorstep
A Day At Central Park
Night at the Opera
Casey Interviews Hot Tranny Mess
I Assure You This is Rascal Flatts
Korean Tableside Barbeque
Photo Op Perched Atop Empire State Building with Masters Champ
Birthday Fun at Schiller's
View from My Apartment Doorstep
A Day At Central Park
Night at the Opera
Casey Interviews Hot Tranny Mess
I Assure You This is Rascal Flatts
Korean Tableside Barbeque
Photo Op Perched Atop Empire State Building with Masters Champ
Birthday Fun at Schiller's
Cousin Peter Gets Hitched
Peter, my 2nd cousin - ties the knot with longtime girlfriend Ellen - at the Capitol building in St. Paul! His sister, my cousin Anne, and her cute kids are in the pix too!
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