In the early days of a relationship, there's a lot of 'nesting' going on - and as we approach Autumn it's a good time to examine the dating ritual in its peak season, in all its glory as well as how events in the nesting period can also foreshadow failure.
1) Couch Crashing. If you're nesting, you're sure to have many Netflix nights! The movie-watching-with-your-sweetie ritual is one of the fastest ways to gauge another's level of intimacy. Whether it's two feet of dead air between you - or in a weird-moving-watching-uncomfortable-but-still-pleased-with-physically-tight-pretzel-knot during a first flick - you pretty much know where you stand in terms of intimacy by the end of the movie. Now if only you could pay attention to the movie's plot rather than obsessing about the other person's proximity to you...
2) Kitchen Tools. Of course nesting Netflix nights aren't complete without nesting snacks - which leads to the inevitable, "Let's cook up something together!" In this nesting ritual, you can get a glimpse into your honey's gastrointestinal goodness - by simply opening his or her fridge. There, you can find out if your lady is a chocoholic - or if your man has stockpiles of that weird protein powder stuff in those obnoxious plastic keg bottles. Of course - culinary skills and the ability to makes meals on-the-fly is also on display. My secret nesting weapon in this arena has always been a simple dip - made by just mixing salsa and cream cheese. Make it the next time you nest and you'll be in love FOREVER, or - as in my case - until he decides to cheat on you...
***Sidebar: Friend Nate and I both strongly advise against making any kind of soup and/or chili with your sweetie during the nesting period. It's a recipe for disaster.
3) Clean It Up. The fridge 'nest test' can also be a good barometer on how clean/dirty a person is. Chances are, if you're invited over to your sweetheart's place - he or she has cleaned/picked up his or her room and Netflix viewing spot. But has he or she cleaned the fridge?! Yep - check here - because you never hear ANYONE say, "I'm so excited this chick is coming over. I have to clean my fridge!"
4) Shopping Together. Yep, this is a BIG-TIME nesting ritual, and it seems when you're first dating someone - running random errands magically evolves into something FUN. Yes, those trips to the dry cleaner or pet food store suddenly become opportunities to chat up the in-house tailor or browse pet store aisles and remark how cute cat toys are becoming. This is indeed a magical nesting time, which you can be sure will evolve to shopping at stores you would never think about entering during solo status. Girls can expect Best Buy, Home Depot and guitar stores on the list, and guys - well, strappy sandal shoes and overpriced scented candle stores are in your future. I once went to a Vespa store - A VESPA STORE - for OVER an hour! I also sat with a dude while he contemplated what new tire rims to purchase (and even more shocking, I actually CONTRIBUTED to this conversation!).
Caution: Sometimes in the nesting period you will lose part of your brain.
If you're a guy, you will be quizzed on color schemes and textures. If you're a chick, you'll get your fill of shiny electronics and tools. But this is all OKAY - after all, it is the nesting period - where EVERYTHING is perfect.
5) Crisis Averted. As long as you're nesting, nothing really bothers you or gets you down. Getting a $100 parket ticket suddenly becomes fun fodder over dinner. An accident that wipes out the whole front of your car becomes the scene-setter for a "Damsel in Distress" 2-person play - which both sides are happy to play. Together, you belly laugh over spilt milk. You also fall over each other to be the first one to clean up all that milk.
6) More Nesting Goodies: pumpkin carving (for the first time since age 14), Christmas tree hunting even though you don't have ornaments, buying ornaments and trimming tree, board games, little around-the-house projects, checking out each other's music collection and forcing yourself to really dig some of his or her favorites, downloading his or her music collection, taking naps together, exploring reality TV until your find "your show", getting lost in a local farmers market, IKEA trip to furnish the imaginary place you are starting to share in your head, ice cream consumption
***Sidebar: Would advise against going to any Haunted House attractions during the Autumn nesting period. I did a haunted house with a guy around this time last year as part of what I thought would be a fun nesting activity. He - not the attraction's resident ghost - became the only thing that disappeared...
Nesting is a hopeful time for anyone looking to embark on a relationship. Here's hoping your next nesting period with that new special guy or gal is all it could be AND more... sans the soup-making and Haunted House attraction. It's so fun to Invest in the Nest!
In closing, be self-aware enough to know NOT to get yourself into a relationship - just because you want to reap 'nesting' rewards. Friend Nate did this, and warns against the logic... or lapse of logic...
WHAT'S YOUR BEST NESTING?
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3 comments:
"Caution: Sometimes in the nesting period you will lose part of your brain. "
Heheh. That was my favorite part.
Am I the only person who found that post slightly depressing?
It is a bit depressing in hindsight - but not when you're IN the 'nesting' phase. It's all euphoric! One friend told me when she started nesting with her now-husband, she sat through all three 'Lord of the Rings' movies in one day! Now, she quickly quashes his movie suggestions, which is when you know you're done nesting.
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